God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
