I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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