Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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