But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
