3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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