we made out on top of his cat.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
