Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
