I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
