Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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