She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
