I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
