Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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