i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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