sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
