OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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