Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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