drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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