I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
