So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
zippers are such a cool invention
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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