So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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