Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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