Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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