If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
