I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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