You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
