and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
