i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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