fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
