just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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