community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
