Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
