I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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