do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize