just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
