Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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