I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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