i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They should really pass out barf bags in church
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
