Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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