All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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