Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
