i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
