I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
