I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize