So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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