We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
