I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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