the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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