I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
