sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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