It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
