If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize