will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
