you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
