Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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