so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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