Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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