GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
