Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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