I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
