Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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