wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
