in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
