I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
