So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Small penises have feelings too.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
