Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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