do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
