I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize