im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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