It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
