You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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