This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
