I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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