Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
