we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize