Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
