I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
