She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
