I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
