Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
