Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
