She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
